OMG, I'm 30!

Sorry, fan. I know you've been waiting for my posts. Well, I just turned 30, and this prompted me to want to write.
When I was younger, I would watch sitcoms where people would be turning 30 and they would be freaking out. Since I was like 14, I really didn't get it. I was like, "What's the big deal? You're pretty, you have a cool apartment, you have a lot of friends and nice clothes....what's the problem?" But now that I'm 30 I totally get it. You see, I thought by 30 I'd be married, have a house, and have a baby. Oh, and have a job that I'd get to quit to have my baby. Or, if that didn't happen, I'd be all sweet and be like partying and be too cool for all that. That's why I moved to Vegas, after all. But instead, I'm living in an apartment with my common-law husband with a mountain of debt, I'm unemployed, have aquaintences from the apt. complexes instead of friends, and I have a time limit to have kids bc I have "the diabetes." Great. Not exactly the life I had in mind. Now, most of my friends who are 30 or are turning 30 are married and have at least one kid. And of course they have a job. Right now, I can't even get hired at Target. Yea for journalism degrees!

Turning 30 is all about realizing that you failed at all the stuff you thought you'd be successful at by now. Even those people who have jobs and houses probably thought they'd being doing something else or be doing it better at this point. Maybe they thought they'd be out of their hometown by now. At least I did that. I am a risk taker, for all it gets me. Maybe they thought they'd have a hotter husband (got that one, too!) or gasp!--cuter kids. Y'all know babies aren't all cute, right?

But I guess for all the crap that I haven't done, I have done or at least am starting to do some stuff right. I did move to Vegas to "make it." I did make a meeting with a dude in a Vegas club at 3 am turn into a 6-yr relationship. I do have 3 adorable furry babies. I did do an awesome job as an editor for my paper before my "attitude" got me in trouble. And finally, I'm going to be a teacher soon, and I'm really looking forward to it.

New lows

Oh eww, eww, eww, eww, eww, eww. I just saw a commercial with that no-talent skank Megan Fox and she somehow opened her mouth and made words come out that said she was hosting the season premier of SNL. In the words of your own Weekend Update anchors, Really, THAT was the best host you could come up with, Really?

Peace Out, Napkin Face!

Now I don't know if you watch the Bachelor, but you should. Not because it actually leads to true love or anything like that. But because you get to watch seemingly normal girls fall apart and act like total trainwrecks. I'm sure you already know this, after like 22 seasons, but just in case you don't, start watching. This week, the resident psycho, Shannon, who was also the token not pretty girl, finally lost it. And it was AWESOME. She was like begging him not to send her home, and it was just supposed to be like a fun date. They got the best date EVER--to go to the set of General Hospital. And she's like freakin' bawling and being like "I want you to go home with me." THe rest is too funny and great to even write about. I was lauging so hard, and so was my boyfriend. I kept rewinding it. I have included it here for your viewing pleasure. This makes my whole day. I know my life is sad. But Napkin Face's is a hell of a lot sadder.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY5lLhaRcm0

Quote of the Week

"You mean, why'd she take her vagina and leave?.... I found out that no amount of pancakes can erase 'Shut the Hell up! Stop talking to me!"
--comedian Mark Maron talking about his divorce on Conan

Told ya....

I'd forget some movies. Here are some other good ones.

Southland Tales (it's out there-warning)
The House Bunny
Yes Man
Seven Pounds
Stranger Than Fiction
Charlie Wilson's War
HellBoy 2
Redline (for pure hilarity--it's so bad it's great)
Hot Rod
Invincible

Great Movies to See

So I spend a lot of time watching movies. A lot of time. I love it. Movies are a definite passion of mine. Since I have seen so many, I thought I would compile a list of some good ones that are worth seeing. I'll probably think of more, so I'll keep adding them.

Meet Bill
Charlie Bartlett
Valkyrie
Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?
Step Brothers
The Ex
Bernard and Doris
War, Inc.
The Hammer
Elizabeth
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Bolt
Aquamarine
The King of Kong
Stardust
The Hunting Party
Mommie Dearest
Charade
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
The Company
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Cassandra's Dream
Resurrecting the Champ
Mad Money
Flawless
Kung Fu Panda
Get Smart
Bella

Granted, these are my picks, so you many not love them. Some are really mainstream, and some, like War, Inc, and Bernard and Doris are a little out there. But that's me. Even if you never watch any of these, DO NOT watch Wanted or The Love Guru. Please. They are 2 of the worst movies ever made in recent times. Blech. I am physically cringing just thinking about them. If you watch any of my picks, let me know what you think!

Freak

Beyonce is a freak. Case in point: